Boom Boom

So it's almost July 4th. Boom Boom go the fireworks. Unfortunately that's not the Boom Boom I'm talking about. While working on a job for a client(as usual), my older the girls were watching a movie when the middle child decided she wanted to spontaneously say "Daddy my panties are in my Boom Boom." I tried not to laugh but it just kinda happened.

I commended her for her excellent talking ability (she's really talking now!) and then asked "What's a boom boom?"

"It's behind your Too Too, Daddy.", said the elder daughter. This clarified things for me instantly.

Giggles ensued.

For the next few minutes they sounded like cheerleaders exchanging rounds of "This is my Boom Boom, this is my Too Too" while doing all types of calisthenics to point out each of their certain unmentionables. (Of course they were fully dressed and pointing to themselves) I had to turn away so they couldn't see me laughing but I bet they could tell because I know for a fact my shoulders were doing that shaky "don't let Daddy catch you laughing in church" type movement.

"Who's teaching my children these names for women parts?" I thought to myself between laughing episodes.

I am in such trouble as the only Dude in the house. God help me if my little cheerleaders start talking about their Rah Rah's or their Siss Boom Bahs.

Crazy + Crazy <> Crazy

Crazy is not at all like infinity. Infinity is an unknown ever expansive measurement. I used to say to my parents when I was a kid that "I love you infinity plus infinity". That means nothing really. Sure the "I love you" part is sentimental but the portion about infinity is just stupid. The reason is that if you add infinity to itself, you still have infinity.... NOT INFINITY TIMES TWO.

So crazy is not at all like infinity. Crazy plus More Crazy = Awholelottacrazy. Thus this story begins. Friday night the Mrs. and I were watching news and a story came on about how The Humane Society a few counties over from us was going to euthanize about 50 dogs and cats unless they got adopted. We just looked at each other and decided right then and there that we would drive 90 miles for the chance to play hero to some sort of animal. It really didn't matter what type of dog it was as long as it was friendly and good with the kids. We packed the kids in the car after breakfast and didn't even tell them where we were going. We just drove.

Now if you've been reading this blog for any time at all you know that I have a gorgeous wife and three beautiful daughters. They happen to all be redheaded so I feel quite out-numbered. As luck would have it, we did indeed adopt a dog for the girls. Of course, it is female and also has red hair. She's really sweet and probably a year and a half - 2 years old and is a part Aussie mix. I think the other half is Irish setter. She points at the birds when we take her out to go to the bathroom.

The girls, apprehensive at first, have fallen in love with the new addition to our family. Score one for "Team Girl" and again, the masses against me are growing and I'm now even more outnumbered.

Her name is Isabelle, or Izzybell or Insabell, depending on which daughter you ask. Welcome home Izzy. I hope you like your new home. Yes we are crazy, and even more so than this time yesterday.

More from the Crazy Farm soon...

Piggy Back Rides

The title sounds innocent right? Well this is an innocent story so it should. I have decided that God reveals himself in both mysterious and humorous ways. We, both men and women, are made in His image. I don't necessarily think that is a physical meaning. I believe it's more of the emotions, spirit, experiences and relationships which make us like God. The bible states that God has given us Love, Peace, and Joy and the greatest is love. I think Joy should be the second because God does have a sense of humor. Why else would He make green beans the same color as their vine or make oranges circular so they are hard to stack. I'm sure He sits on His throne during the summer months laughing and pointing to tons of beans left on the vine that we didn't see.

Life's garden is rich with fruit. He has given us a bountiful harvest of funny memories for us to take when we get to heaven. Some we see and enjoy here on Earth. I believe other funny events will be revealed to us just like green beans we have left on the vine. So be aware and always watching your children to make sure you pick as many beautiful memories as possible. They grow so fast don't they?

So what does this have to do with piggy back rides?

Here is a green bean I found yesterday:

Imagine your oldest child, barely into her fourth year playing with her dolls on the floor. The family dog is chasing a ball around the family room while the middle child laughs and calls his name and the youngest child is taking a nap during all of this. Silence is a scary thing to a parent. When it goes silent that is usually not a good sign.

SILENCE - man it's loud. I sit in my chair ever listening. Nothing at first, then slowly and barely audible there it is...

Jingle jingle jingle jingle goes the dog's collar. I know... I just know. I place my laptop on my chair and turn around to see our family dog ravishing the back of my oldest child as she plays quietly with her dolls on the floor. And then she speaks:

"Daddy - look - he wants a piggy back ride!" she giggles.

Thank you God for that green bean. I shall feast deliciously on that one for quite some time.

Daddy Words

When I walk into the house after not seeing my girls all day, they are of course, very excited and wish to tell me all about their day. Now mind you, they want to tell me in the span of 14.6 seconds so I have to listen very carefully. We sit down to eat dinner and I just want to hear the first 2 news stories because I've determined that everything after that is repeat news from the previous day. I would hope that my girls could accommodate me in this little way but of course, that is expecting too much from an almost 3 year old and a 4 year old going on 30. I shall now paraphrase how this evening went. For simplicity's sake, assume the following: BGP = big girl princess (aka oldest daughter), LGP = little girl princess (aka middle daughter), TGP = tiny girl princess (aka my baby girl).


ME: "How'd your day go honey?"

BGP: "OH DADDY I -"

LGP: "ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH"

MRS: "Fine not much other than the doctor's appointment."

ME: "How did that -"

LGP: "DAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDDDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY"

TGP: "WAAAAAAAAAAAH"

MRS: "Boy! She (TGP) is really enjoying that broccoli"

ME: "Girls please be quiet, daddy wants to hear this news stor-"

BGP & LGP: [Giggles and food munching]

BGP: "DADDY TODAY I ATE LUNCH"

ME: "I'm glad you did... can daddy just lis-"

LGP: "WHAT'S WONG WID WYDIA'S CWADUHHHHL"

TGP: "MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM"

ME: "Nothing baby, Daddy is fixing it... can Daddy just please li-"

BGP: "Be quiet [to LGP]. I'm trying to watch tv. It's Important! Yes. Yes it was a bad day. Something happened there. And over there. And other stuff happened too... [Glances toward me] Look at me - I'm using daddy words."

The TV quietly switched to recaps of yesterday's news. If you know what the top two news stories were on 6/18/2008, other than Tim Russert's Funeral, Iraq, the election, Mid-western flooding, diabetes, fuel prices, our suck-ass economy or the Bush Administration - please let me know.

Happy Father's Day

Happy Father's Day to all fathers out there. I know I love mine and learn so much from him. What a role model he has always been, and continues to be, for me. Rarely judgmental, always supportive, never without love. I hope I am using all of those traits to the benefit of my own children. So thank you to my beautiful and supportive wife for our three beautiful daughters. Without you all, I would have no reason to celebrate this day for myself. It is family which makes Father's day such a special occasion. I'm also finding it's becoming a day of reflection for me. I remember 4 years ago holding my oldest daughter in my arms under a huge maple tree in our front yard as we posed for my very first Father's day picture. Now, with three of the most precious children a man could ask for, I find this day becoming more introspective so I can figure out how I have done as a father over the past year and how I can be a better father during the next year.

I have discovered that over the past year, I have worked too much. I have missed many opportunities to do family events on the weekends in pursuit of the dollar to help provide for my family. I have not taken care of myself very well regarding exercise. I have not done a very good job financially for my family. I make an honest and well paid living, yet I provide little guidance and financial leadership for my family. I have played hard with my family and love them dearly. I have been quick to temper at the end of a long day but also quick to hold when a knee is scraped from a fall. I am the piggy back ride giver, airplane-tosser-in-the-bed provider, bad boo-boo fixer-upper, broken toy healer, good-night tickler, and Saturday morning cartoon watching sit-in-your-lap-daddy holder. I tuck them back under their covers several times throughout the night as I whisper "good night my big girl princesses" in their ears. I hope that they dream big and live bigger. I hope that I am the example they can look to as a role model just as I continue to look to my father on a daily basis.

I hope in the next year to work less-hard, provide more, love more, and take advantage of the weekends with my family. This past week we took our annual family vacation to the beach and I got to see my older children play together like they never have. Splashing in the water and running on the beach, they danced a dance that only two siblings close in age can experience - laughing and giggling with each other and communicating without talking. It immediately brought me back to when me and my older sister played like we were Eskimos and packed dirt into old Glad sandwich bags to use as deer meat during hard cold winters. I also remembered making leaf houses in the back yard and accidentally smacking her in the face with a shovel the day before she was to be in a wedding. I also winced at the remembrance of the pain caused by my best friend, Matthew, as he drove a garden hoe through the top of my foot because I had hurt the girl with whom he was in love even though she was 4 years older. Flashing forward back to the present time, my girls are developing the same close relationship with each other. As they sit on the couch watching Scooby Doo, they periodically just look at each other and start cracking up.

So in retrospect, this past year has gone very well. It's a crazy life living with a house full of four independent red-headed women. I love it and wouldn't want it any other way. I have learned how to be a good father over the past year and have things to work on during the next year to continue my growth as a father. So here's a toast to all fathers out there! Enjoy this day with your family and thank God for the blessings He has bestowed upon you.

God's Experience

I've often wondered if God knows just how good of a world He has created for us. I realized today that he experiences his creation through our actions in this world. Today, God experienced pure joy through my two older children as they splashed and played in the ocean during our vacation.... or "the big bath tub" as my middle child says.