Today I treated myself and slept in until 7am. That was nice. It's amazing how an extra 15-30 minutes of rest can help a person through the day. While still in my "pre-awake" stage, I could hear the kids in the den trying to find their toys to play with. Suddenly there was a patting of small hands on my back. I opened my eyes and rolled over. My oldest was sitting there just looking at me. She smiled with her little angel face and gave me a hug and said "Happy Birthday, Daddy. I love you." The perfect birthday gift from a small child.
"Can Daddy have a kiss to go along with that hug?" I asked her.
"Welllllllllllllll - you see," she began, "I already gave you a hug and now I'm chewing on part of my toenail so I can't kiss you right now."
"Ok love you - bye!" she said as she ran back into the den.
I laid there for a few more minute giggling and thanking God for my sweet family.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Monday, May 19, 2008
The Lion, The Big Girl, and the Splinter
Once upon a time, in a majestic land there was a fair and just king who ruled the Kingdom with his beautiful and loving Queen. Over the years, King Dude and his wife had three gorgeous and adorable princesses. All of the princesses were adorned with red curly locks that bobbed up and down when they ran through the Kingdom and the gardens outside the Kingdom. One night after the evening feast, the oldest of the princesses rushed back into the eating hall crying quietly to the Queen.
"It hurts really bad!" she cried as the big girl held up her little hand.
The Queen looked closely and sure enough - she had a splinter in her hand. It must have been from when they visited the Parks at Springbrooke earlier in the day. The princesses love to play as boys and the messier they get, the more fun they seem to have.
The Queen sent her over to King Dude so that he could also see this evil splinter. As sure as the day is long, she had a splinter in her hand. Now this was the first splinter caught by any of the princesses. It wasn't a big splinter, but none-the-less, he was evil and had to be destroyed. King Dude has had a few splinters in his life. Using this experience and the wisdom of all of the Kings before him, he pulled out a shiny lance and sanitized it in the Flames of Strength and Justice.
"NO DADDY" begged the Big Girl princess.
"Hush, my child," said King Dude, "this will not hurt at all. My father used this to remove splinters from my hands and I shall use this on you remove your evil splinter."
"What are you going to do?" She asked, sniffling through innocent tears.
"Well, " said the King. He paused for a few seconds to gather his thoughts as to be honest with his daughter while not frightening her further. He wondered if there was a correct way to say "I'm going to jam this here pin into your hand and pop the splinter out into the air like a projectile from a freshly uncorked bottle of France's finest bubbly from the vineyards of Champagne"? He thought better and cleared his throat.
"My sweet Big Girl," he said, "I'm going to take this pin and very gently get the splinter out of your hand."
King dude was feeling satisfied with his choice of wording when there was a shrill from his eldest princess.
"NO - NO!" she said. "You are not going to put that pin in my hand."
"Ok baby if we don't get that out of your hand, it will get infected and then you'll have to go to the physician to get a shot and have him remove it" King Dude replied.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Father, don't want a shot. I want you to get it out" She said.
Was the King making progress with this frightened young doe? Surely with all of his wisdom and victories on the battlefields of Workinarseoff, he would also be successful in his raid of Splinterville.
"I want Lion" said the Big Girl as she walked cautiously down the Hall of Darkness to fetch her prized trophy.
She returned with Lion, her beloved friend. Once crowned with a shiny golden mane of locks, he grinned sweetly with a half loose eye and a nappy headed dark brown glob of hair.
"OK" Said the Big Girl. "Get it out - I don't want a shot from the physician" She said as she hugged her trophy.
The King tested her will by putting the point of the pin against his finger and tapping her hand with his finger.
"Ok how bad does this - " He began.
"NO DADDY NOT WITH THE POINTY END. USE THE SCOOPY END TO SCOOP THE SPLINTER OUT" the Big Girl shouted as she pointed to the clasp end of the safety pin.
"I can't, my child" said King Dude. "I must use this pointy end of the lance to get the splinter out - but I promise you that it will not hurt."
"I'll do it" said the Queen.
Not wanting to seem whipped by a willful princess, the King told his daughter that if it hurt, all she had to do was to say so and he would cease.
"Ok..." agreed the Big Girl Princess. "STOP" she cried as soon as he touched her hand with the pointy lance.
"LET MOMMY DO IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!" moaned the fair princess of Middlechildland.
King Dude, feeling defeated, reluctantly let her go and she ran to the Queen.
"Come here" said the Queen as she pulled the Big Girl into her lap. "Let me take a look at that again" she continued.
The Big Girl held out her tiny hand and the Queen said "Hmmmmm come with me... I know just what to do."
They journeyed to the far reaches of the Kingdom into a vast wilderness of Qtips, potions, lotions, and other womenly things. Once inside the Bathroom of Mommyhood, the Queen sat on the edge of her indoor pond and pulled out a large pair of really scary looking tweezers. Not the kind with the slanted tips. These were the pointed kind used for either eyebrow plucking or chicken de-feathering in the Kingdom's kitchen. "This is what we can use - Mommy uses these to tweeze her eyebrows out" she said.
The Big Girl began screaming louder and louder, now terrified out of her mind. The King was determined to be victorious against the Evil Splinter and save the Big Girl Princess. After some sly coaxing and a promise of the finest lime sherbet, the Big Girl trusted her Father King and agreed to let him battle the Splinter. "Look over at your mommy" said the King "and this will be over before you know it."
With the splinter removal experience of generations on his side, he pulled out the sanitized lance and with the finger dexterity of a computer programmer flicked the Splinter out of the Big Girl's hand. She turned her head suddenly and looked at her hand. The splinter was gone. She looked up and smiled at him. As trumpets trumpeted and white doves flew about the Bathroom of Mommyhood, the Big Girl Princess said "That didn't hurt."
It was later in the evening when the King was surveying his land from a southward facing window that he felt the Big Girl hug his leg. "Thank you for getting that out" said the Big Girl Princess. He picked up the young child and hugged her closely.
"Always remember that your mommy and daddy love you and they will never hurt you. You are always safe with us" said King Dude.
The Big Girl Princess nodded happily and went to eat her lime sherbet with her faithful Lion by her side.
Sweet dreams little Big Girl Princess. Your mommy and daddy are watching over you.
- The End -
"It hurts really bad!" she cried as the big girl held up her little hand.
The Queen looked closely and sure enough - she had a splinter in her hand. It must have been from when they visited the Parks at Springbrooke earlier in the day. The princesses love to play as boys and the messier they get, the more fun they seem to have.
The Queen sent her over to King Dude so that he could also see this evil splinter. As sure as the day is long, she had a splinter in her hand. Now this was the first splinter caught by any of the princesses. It wasn't a big splinter, but none-the-less, he was evil and had to be destroyed. King Dude has had a few splinters in his life. Using this experience and the wisdom of all of the Kings before him, he pulled out a shiny lance and sanitized it in the Flames of Strength and Justice.
"NO DADDY" begged the Big Girl princess.
"Hush, my child," said King Dude, "this will not hurt at all. My father used this to remove splinters from my hands and I shall use this on you remove your evil splinter."
"What are you going to do?" She asked, sniffling through innocent tears.
"Well, " said the King. He paused for a few seconds to gather his thoughts as to be honest with his daughter while not frightening her further. He wondered if there was a correct way to say "I'm going to jam this here pin into your hand and pop the splinter out into the air like a projectile from a freshly uncorked bottle of France's finest bubbly from the vineyards of Champagne"? He thought better and cleared his throat.
"My sweet Big Girl," he said, "I'm going to take this pin and very gently get the splinter out of your hand."
King dude was feeling satisfied with his choice of wording when there was a shrill from his eldest princess.
"NO - NO!" she said. "You are not going to put that pin in my hand."
"Ok baby if we don't get that out of your hand, it will get infected and then you'll have to go to the physician to get a shot and have him remove it" King Dude replied.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Father, don't want a shot. I want you to get it out" She said.
Was the King making progress with this frightened young doe? Surely with all of his wisdom and victories on the battlefields of Workinarseoff, he would also be successful in his raid of Splinterville.
"I want Lion" said the Big Girl as she walked cautiously down the Hall of Darkness to fetch her prized trophy.
She returned with Lion, her beloved friend. Once crowned with a shiny golden mane of locks, he grinned sweetly with a half loose eye and a nappy headed dark brown glob of hair.
"OK" Said the Big Girl. "Get it out - I don't want a shot from the physician" She said as she hugged her trophy.
The King tested her will by putting the point of the pin against his finger and tapping her hand with his finger.
"Ok how bad does this - " He began.
"NO DADDY NOT WITH THE POINTY END. USE THE SCOOPY END TO SCOOP THE SPLINTER OUT" the Big Girl shouted as she pointed to the clasp end of the safety pin.
"I can't, my child" said King Dude. "I must use this pointy end of the lance to get the splinter out - but I promise you that it will not hurt."
"I'll do it" said the Queen.
Not wanting to seem whipped by a willful princess, the King told his daughter that if it hurt, all she had to do was to say so and he would cease.
"Ok..." agreed the Big Girl Princess. "STOP" she cried as soon as he touched her hand with the pointy lance.
"LET MOMMY DO IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!" moaned the fair princess of Middlechildland.
King Dude, feeling defeated, reluctantly let her go and she ran to the Queen.
"Come here" said the Queen as she pulled the Big Girl into her lap. "Let me take a look at that again" she continued.
The Big Girl held out her tiny hand and the Queen said "Hmmmmm come with me... I know just what to do."
They journeyed to the far reaches of the Kingdom into a vast wilderness of Qtips, potions, lotions, and other womenly things. Once inside the Bathroom of Mommyhood, the Queen sat on the edge of her indoor pond and pulled out a large pair of really scary looking tweezers. Not the kind with the slanted tips. These were the pointed kind used for either eyebrow plucking or chicken de-feathering in the Kingdom's kitchen. "This is what we can use - Mommy uses these to tweeze her eyebrows out" she said.
The Big Girl began screaming louder and louder, now terrified out of her mind. The King was determined to be victorious against the Evil Splinter and save the Big Girl Princess. After some sly coaxing and a promise of the finest lime sherbet, the Big Girl trusted her Father King and agreed to let him battle the Splinter. "Look over at your mommy" said the King "and this will be over before you know it."
With the splinter removal experience of generations on his side, he pulled out the sanitized lance and with the finger dexterity of a computer programmer flicked the Splinter out of the Big Girl's hand. She turned her head suddenly and looked at her hand. The splinter was gone. She looked up and smiled at him. As trumpets trumpeted and white doves flew about the Bathroom of Mommyhood, the Big Girl Princess said "That didn't hurt."
It was later in the evening when the King was surveying his land from a southward facing window that he felt the Big Girl hug his leg. "Thank you for getting that out" said the Big Girl Princess. He picked up the young child and hugged her closely.
"Always remember that your mommy and daddy love you and they will never hurt you. You are always safe with us" said King Dude.
The Big Girl Princess nodded happily and went to eat her lime sherbet with her faithful Lion by her side.
Sweet dreams little Big Girl Princess. Your mommy and daddy are watching over you.
- The End -
Friday, May 16, 2008
The Colors Of The Wind
Humanity is a wonderful thing. The senses and experiences which God has given us are so often taken for granted. Our fast paced lives do not leave much time for the little things which really matter. We work so hard chasing the dollar to provide for our families and try to make those memories, that many things, both good and bad, just pass on by without our recognition.
Yesterday I got to experience one of the wonderfully sad things about parenting - when you finally realize that your child has advanced to the next stage in life and is growing up. My daughter is no longer a baby or toddler. She is a young lady. It's exciting to see your child advance and wonder about the opportunities and possibilities which will soon present themselves. On the other hand it's sad to see them no longer as babies you once held in your arms and paced back and forth in the dark to soothe back to sleep.
My oldest daughter has been taking ballet classes since March and last night was her big recital which marked the end of her class. Due to my working hours, I haven't been able to attend her classes although I make it a point to always ask her what she has learned and cheer her on as she shows me new moves she learned at class. I was not going to miss the recital and took off from work a few minutes early to race back to town to see her.
Last night, life smacked me right in the face and I realized that she is now truly out of the toddler stage. She is bright, loving, friendly, courteous, kind, and everything a father could ask for in a daughter. She also has a few very special qualities of my late brother - to make everyone laugh, to make the unpopular people feel special, and especially her beautiful sense of color. Joseph used to design websites with colors beyond the rainbow. My daughter has shown me that she too paints with all of the colors of the wind. I hope you enjoy this as much as I have and that you take the time to see your own children and the beautiful patchwork quilts they are making with their own little lives.
Yesterday I got to experience one of the wonderfully sad things about parenting - when you finally realize that your child has advanced to the next stage in life and is growing up. My daughter is no longer a baby or toddler. She is a young lady. It's exciting to see your child advance and wonder about the opportunities and possibilities which will soon present themselves. On the other hand it's sad to see them no longer as babies you once held in your arms and paced back and forth in the dark to soothe back to sleep.
My oldest daughter has been taking ballet classes since March and last night was her big recital which marked the end of her class. Due to my working hours, I haven't been able to attend her classes although I make it a point to always ask her what she has learned and cheer her on as she shows me new moves she learned at class. I was not going to miss the recital and took off from work a few minutes early to race back to town to see her.
Last night, life smacked me right in the face and I realized that she is now truly out of the toddler stage. She is bright, loving, friendly, courteous, kind, and everything a father could ask for in a daughter. She also has a few very special qualities of my late brother - to make everyone laugh, to make the unpopular people feel special, and especially her beautiful sense of color. Joseph used to design websites with colors beyond the rainbow. My daughter has shown me that she too paints with all of the colors of the wind. I hope you enjoy this as much as I have and that you take the time to see your own children and the beautiful patchwork quilts they are making with their own little lives.
Saturday, May 3, 2008
My Father's Algia
An open letter to Pfizer, Inc...
Dearest Pfizer,
Ok everyone has seen it and we're tired of it. You know what I'm talking about. It's your horrid commercial (which seems to run as every other commercial), alternating with Mycoxafloppin, your erectile dysfunction pill, and Uhavaitchipus, your anti-yeast infection medicine promoting your new wunderkind drug Lyrica which is used to treat extreme nerve pain. It may work wonders for your sales and kickbacks to your doctors but enough is enough! Stop it with the commercial already. If you haven't seen the commercial you are running, I shall now include it here for your viewing pleasure courtesy of Youtube.com:
Now I've got a few questions at this juncture:
a. If her pain is so bad and "her muscles, so tender to the touch, " how the hell did she manage to gasp the pen to write in her fancy-schmancy journal?
b. Who the hell writes like that and even more, who would read that to an audience?
Give me a break. People in pain do not write about it that way. Have some balls and do it right, Pfizer. I suggest any of the following in your next commercial:
That last one might be a little too close to another really bad commercial to use. I'm sure that you all have your own creative team and can pay them well with all the money you make. The point is, if you are going to jam this down our throats, make the commercials at least entertaining.
Looking at your website, I see that it is quaintly organized by symptom/condition or medication name. This is a very useful feature and it is well thought out (take it from a fellow web designer - wink wink). Just browsing, I have quickly selected a few conditions to which we can apply the Lyrica scripting test.
Condition: High Anxiety
"My anxiety, so acute and - WHAT WAS THAT?"
Condition: Insomnia
"My insomnia, so awake and restless."
Condition: Erectile Dysfunction
"My member, so pale and wimpy."
I think you can get the point....
Pfizer, your commercials have even affected my oldest child who just turned four years old. My daughter, so sweet and friendly to others, has evidently been deeply changed by your commercials. This afternoon, while exiting the shower, I heard my wife giggling in the family room. "You need to go show your daddy." She said.
I entered the family room and my oldest daughter was smiling at me holding a legal pad gently in her arms as if she were a high paid executive assistant taking dictations from her boss.
"What is that?" I asked her.
"That's my letter, daddy." she replied.
"What are you writing about?" I asked again.
"I'm writing about My Father's Algia." She said.
Dearest Pfizer,
Ok everyone has seen it and we're tired of it. You know what I'm talking about. It's your horrid commercial (which seems to run as every other commercial), alternating with Mycoxafloppin, your erectile dysfunction pill, and Uhavaitchipus, your anti-yeast infection medicine promoting your new wunderkind drug Lyrica which is used to treat extreme nerve pain. It may work wonders for your sales and kickbacks to your doctors but enough is enough! Stop it with the commercial already. If you haven't seen the commercial you are running, I shall now include it here for your viewing pleasure courtesy of Youtube.com:
Now I've got a few questions at this juncture:
a. If her pain is so bad and "her muscles, so tender to the touch, " how the hell did she manage to gasp the pen to write in her fancy-schmancy journal?
b. Who the hell writes like that and even more, who would read that to an audience?
Give me a break. People in pain do not write about it that way. Have some balls and do it right, Pfizer. I suggest any of the following in your next commercial:
"HOLY PAIN PILL, BATMAN, MY LEGS HURT."
"YEAH IT HURTS, BUT IT'S A DRY HURT."
"LYRICA - APPLY DIRECTLY TO YOUR PAIN AREA."
That last one might be a little too close to another really bad commercial to use. I'm sure that you all have your own creative team and can pay them well with all the money you make. The point is, if you are going to jam this down our throats, make the commercials at least entertaining.
Looking at your website, I see that it is quaintly organized by symptom/condition or medication name. This is a very useful feature and it is well thought out (take it from a fellow web designer - wink wink). Just browsing, I have quickly selected a few conditions to which we can apply the Lyrica scripting test.
Condition: High Anxiety
"My anxiety, so acute and - WHAT WAS THAT?"
Condition: Insomnia
"My insomnia, so awake and restless."
Condition: Erectile Dysfunction
"My member, so pale and wimpy."
I think you can get the point....
Pfizer, your commercials have even affected my oldest child who just turned four years old. My daughter, so sweet and friendly to others, has evidently been deeply changed by your commercials. This afternoon, while exiting the shower, I heard my wife giggling in the family room. "You need to go show your daddy." She said.
I entered the family room and my oldest daughter was smiling at me holding a legal pad gently in her arms as if she were a high paid executive assistant taking dictations from her boss.
"What is that?" I asked her.
"That's my letter, daddy." she replied.
"What are you writing about?" I asked again.
"I'm writing about My Father's Algia." She said.
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