Baking assorted goodies for the Christmas Feast - $192.57
Decking the Halls in assorted lights for 4 redheaded women - $250.39
Making sure that three little girls had a very merry Christmas - $753.22
Snuggling with your oldest baby on a rainy Christmas afternoon and hearing her say "Merry Christmas Daddy - You have a head shaped like a football!"
PRICELESS
It was indeed a very Merry Christmas. The Dude Room wishes you and yours the same!
NOTE: All prices are for humor purposes only. The Dude does not have high enough security clearance to view receipts so he doesn't know the amount spent during the holidays. No children were harmed during the making of this blog post. This blog post is not tested on animals and is certified hypoallergenic by the FDA, USDA, NSA, FBI, FAA, CIA, IRS and the YMCA. This post will not cause global warming. Never tease this blog post. You should not read this blog post if you are pregnant, could become pregnant, or intend to become pregnant. Reading this post could cause abnormal laughter and snorting. Do not read this blog post while driving or sipping hot beverages. Do not look directly at the blog while reading. The blog may suddenly change directions and leave you dazed and confused. Do not read this blog post if you have experienced any of the following over the past 48 hours: Vertigo, fear of small rodents, drooling, excessive eating or drinking, Too Much Electronic Toys also known as TMET's Syndrome, or an erection lasting for more than 4 hours. Reading this blog while on MAO inhibitors may cause a sudden drop in blood pressure, difficulty urinating, apoxia, clubbed feet or Pillsbury Doughboy hands.
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Friday, December 14, 2007
Doyah Pooyups
Last night was a tough one for the girls. Chloe actually took a nap but was still tired. Emma decided she didn't want to take a nap and was really tired. They both get really whiny when they need to go to bed. During the day, the Mrs. called me and I could tell she was near the end of her rope. She put the girls on the phone and I told each one of them to take a nap. I'm not sure if Chloe took what I said to heart or if she just decided to nap on her own. I also told the girls if they didn't take a nap, they'd get a Daddy Spankin' or something else when I got home.
So I walked into the house last night and asked Chloe if she took a nap. She shook her head and said "uh huh". I turned to Emma and she said "NO I'M GOING TO STAY UP ALL DAY AND ALL NIGHT." That went over well.
"Do you want a spanking on your hand or on your bottom?" I asked.
"On my bottom but just a widdle spanking, ok?" She said.
As my heart was shattering inside, I said "Well that kind of defeats the purpose of spankings. I tell you what, I don't think that this deserves a spanking so what is something you want to do after dinner?"
"I want to eat a Christmas cookie!" she said.
"Well since you didn't take a nap today like mommy and daddy said, you cannot have a Christmas cookie." I replied.
[ Insert various pouting and tantrums here]
Once she had that out of her system we changed into our pajamas and started to wind down for the night. Emma was still whining so I told her if she kept it up, I'd put her back into baby diapers. She would not have that.
She stood up and dropped her PJs and said
"NO DADDY I'M GOING TO WEAR WOMAN PANTIES."
As she was pulling up her PJs, Chloe dropped hers and nodded her head and said "DOYAH POOYUPS - MY DO IT!"
That is her way of telling me she is going to wear Dora Pull-ups and she'll put them on and take them off as she sees fit.
Rock on my little independent ladies.
I then cuddled with all three of my daughters in my chair. Emma was on the right side. Chloe was bouncing on my knee and little sweet Lydia was nestled in the crook of my left arm. The Christmas tree was brightly lit in the corner of the den and I read A Berry Merry Christmas (Srawberry Shortcake and Friends) to my girls. I'm not sure who was having more fun.
So I walked into the house last night and asked Chloe if she took a nap. She shook her head and said "uh huh". I turned to Emma and she said "NO I'M GOING TO STAY UP ALL DAY AND ALL NIGHT." That went over well.
"Do you want a spanking on your hand or on your bottom?" I asked.
"On my bottom but just a widdle spanking, ok?" She said.
As my heart was shattering inside, I said "Well that kind of defeats the purpose of spankings. I tell you what, I don't think that this deserves a spanking so what is something you want to do after dinner?"
"I want to eat a Christmas cookie!" she said.
"Well since you didn't take a nap today like mommy and daddy said, you cannot have a Christmas cookie." I replied.
[ Insert various pouting and tantrums here]
Once she had that out of her system we changed into our pajamas and started to wind down for the night. Emma was still whining so I told her if she kept it up, I'd put her back into baby diapers. She would not have that.
She stood up and dropped her PJs and said
"NO DADDY I'M GOING TO WEAR WOMAN PANTIES."
As she was pulling up her PJs, Chloe dropped hers and nodded her head and said "DOYAH POOYUPS - MY DO IT!"
That is her way of telling me she is going to wear Dora Pull-ups and she'll put them on and take them off as she sees fit.
Rock on my little independent ladies.
I then cuddled with all three of my daughters in my chair. Emma was on the right side. Chloe was bouncing on my knee and little sweet Lydia was nestled in the crook of my left arm. The Christmas tree was brightly lit in the corner of the den and I read A Berry Merry Christmas (Srawberry Shortcake and Friends) to my girls. I'm not sure who was having more fun.
Monday, December 10, 2007
Crickets
Yet another post from the dude room about events that happened during dinner. I am working so many hours, that is the only time I have to visit with my family.
Tonight the Mrs. made yet another yummy dinner. As we were finishing Emma was being so silly naming animals and then "how they sound". However, with her being silly she was mismatching things on purpose.
"Daddy do you know how a horse goes?" she asked.
"Nope!" I replied.
"baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" she giggled.
"Daddy do you know how a cow goes?" she asked.
"Nope!" I replied.
"bawk bawk bawk!" she said as she flapped her arms.
"Daddy do you know how a goat goes?" She asked.
"Nope!" I replied.
"moooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" she said with her neck outstretched.
Now little miss copy-cat, aka Chloe Ann, mimics her big sister in everything from dress to eating to attitude. Like her big sister she enjoys the funny stuff with daddy and mommy.
"wibbit wibbit!" Chloe said.
"Alright Chloe!" Momma replied.
Emma and I kept up our animal banter for a few more minutes. Now what happened next, should have been on video. I will try to illustrate what happened but i'm not sure it will do it justice.
As soon as she could slip in a word edgewise Chloe shouted
FOCK!
[ Insert silence with cricket noises here....]
After a short pause to roll my tongue back up in my mouth and scoop my jaw off the table I said "Excuse me young lady?" in my official DMV (Daddy's Mad Voice).
"Honey she's saying 'frog'..." the Mrs. said.
I felt much better after hearing this translation.
Tonight the Mrs. made yet another yummy dinner. As we were finishing Emma was being so silly naming animals and then "how they sound". However, with her being silly she was mismatching things on purpose.
"Daddy do you know how a horse goes?" she asked.
"Nope!" I replied.
"baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" she giggled.
"Daddy do you know how a cow goes?" she asked.
"Nope!" I replied.
"bawk bawk bawk!" she said as she flapped her arms.
"Daddy do you know how a goat goes?" She asked.
"Nope!" I replied.
"moooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" she said with her neck outstretched.
Now little miss copy-cat, aka Chloe Ann, mimics her big sister in everything from dress to eating to attitude. Like her big sister she enjoys the funny stuff with daddy and mommy.
"wibbit wibbit!" Chloe said.
"Alright Chloe!" Momma replied.
Emma and I kept up our animal banter for a few more minutes. Now what happened next, should have been on video. I will try to illustrate what happened but i'm not sure it will do it justice.
As soon as she could slip in a word edgewise Chloe shouted
FOCK!
[ Insert silence with cricket noises here....]
After a short pause to roll my tongue back up in my mouth and scoop my jaw off the table I said "Excuse me young lady?" in my official DMV (Daddy's Mad Voice).
"Honey she's saying 'frog'..." the Mrs. said.
I felt much better after hearing this translation.
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Formalo
Well I'm still out here. I've been working myself dizzy. In November, I clocked over 260 hours. The good news is I get paid on half of those hours.... Wait - that doesn't sound like a good deal.
Tonight the Mrs. made yummy pizza for dinner. She is so good at that. I look forward to it whenever we get the chance to do it. Nothing beats homemade pizza!
While we were all munching on our pizza, Emma decided to tell me how big she was.
"Daddy I'm almost as big as you are!" she said triumphantly.
"Well you are getting to be a big girl for sure." I replied as I danced with Lydia in my arms to keep her happy and content.
Eating her pizza she said "I know. I used to drink that formalo like Lydia does but not any more."
"That's right baby." I said as I dipped Lydia.
"You know you'll remember dancing with her when you dance at her wedding." The Mrs. said.
"Shhhhhhh I don't want to think about that." I replied.
Dinner was great tonight.
I love you ladies.
Tonight the Mrs. made yummy pizza for dinner. She is so good at that. I look forward to it whenever we get the chance to do it. Nothing beats homemade pizza!
While we were all munching on our pizza, Emma decided to tell me how big she was.
"Daddy I'm almost as big as you are!" she said triumphantly.
"Well you are getting to be a big girl for sure." I replied as I danced with Lydia in my arms to keep her happy and content.
Eating her pizza she said "I know. I used to drink that formalo like Lydia does but not any more."
"That's right baby." I said as I dipped Lydia.
"You know you'll remember dancing with her when you dance at her wedding." The Mrs. said.
"Shhhhhhh I don't want to think about that." I replied.
Dinner was great tonight.
I love you ladies.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)