Nightmare

I don't think I'll ever forget March 23, 2011. My wife of 8 years, my soul-mate and best friend stood quietly in the kitchen, face in hands, alone and silently crying. She didn't have to say a word. The doctor visit didn't go as planned and bad news would soon be shared. A lump discovered only weeks earlier was preliminarily diagnosed as breast cancer. My heart sank in a swamp of fear. Whenever the "C" word is uttered in your house, or to someone you know, you can't help but fear for the worst, even when a formal diagnosis has not yet been placed at your feet.

The doctors said that the imaging didn't look good and conducted a biopsy right there on the spot without her having any support in the waiting room. She then had to drive herself, most likely terrified and still in shock. Her mother, whom I love dearly, is an 8+ year survivor herself. I'm sure there was a lot of hugging and support when she stopped by to see her mom as she is one of the strongest and inspirational women I know.

The last six days have been rough. Yesterday the biopsy results came back atypical meaning something is going on but they didn't have enough sampling from the biopsy for testing. At least that is my understanding. We are at, what i believe is, the best hospital in the region for cancer treatment- UT Knoxville Cancer Center. Her doctor has treated several people I know, and I trust this team of specialists and surgeons with my life and am therefore comfortable with my wife in their care. God has blessed them with healing and that is all I can ask for. He will work His miracles through their hands.

Over the past years, this blog has been mostly about the funny things which my daughters do on a daily basis. That will still be the case because they are a source of strength for me and my wife and are just hysterical in what they do, however, I think I'm going to paint the Dude Room pink in the coming days and maybe even make a sub-blog of my experiences and feelings as a husband of someone who is traveling down the same road. When I make an entry, I'll post the link on FaceBook. Husbands have a need to fix things and in this case, I can't fix it and it's causing a lot of pain on my own part. I know other men are going through this with their wives. Perhaps it will be my own emotional healing and help other husbands who have to walk a similar path one day.

Thank you for reading and your support.