I miss you and love you more than I can express. The pain in my heart of being separated from you during this transition in our lives is quite heavy. It is lonely up here without you and I'm pretty much on the verge of tears during the hours in which I am awake. In my dreams I get to see you and hug you and tell you to your faces how much I cherish and love you. I am happy and content in my dreams.
When the alarm goes off in the morning, happiness is quickly replaced by anxiety and uncertainty and a sadness which cannot be described even though the laughter from my dreams still echos in my ears. My heart literally aches due to these circumstances. My faith in God, however, is unshakable even as the sun sets in this big and lonely city. I fully trust He is working for good in our lives even though I don't see His plan for our family.
I want you to have that same belief as well. Sweet daughters - always know that God does not want to hurt us. He is there to lift us up and to comfort us. He is my friend in this big town and He is great. He has provided me with a wonderful job so I can keep you clothed, fed, and sheltered. We are so very blessed even in this time of separation. Never forget that. There are others which are not as lucky as our family and we need to be compassionate to them and help them however we can. We have been given a wonderful gift in this economy and we need not forget it. Rather, we should figure out a way to help those less fortunate and thank God in any way we can by helping people out. I'm not sure how we can help them yet when our own finances are so tight. He will reveal how we can help on His time-line.
As I write this to you, I look out my office window through the tall buildings at the interstate heading South which leads me to you all. I can feel the rush of the tires as they curve through Cincinnatti and race through Lexington along beside the horses running in the white fenced fields. I feel the steepness of the mountains and the racing of my heart as I enter our little town. I drive home to you every night in my mind. I know each curve and each mile which leads me home. It would be so easy to just do that after work... and it would be the wrong thing to do.
We are blessed. Keep telling yourselves that and believe it with all of your heart. In time, God will reveal His wonderful plan for our family. On that point, I have the greatest of faith. Until He reveals His plan for our family, I count the days until I can hold you in my arms and hear your laughter and to just enjoy our precious time together. I would love to come home every weekend and would gladly make the drive. However, finances are uncertain so there will be times where I can't come home every weekend. It could be 2-3 weeks before I could come home. I do not know if we can afford my trips home as often as I would like to make them. And perhaps that alone is the heaviest weight on my heart.
I love you all. Girls, obey your mother - she has a LOT on her plate.
Your loving daddy and husband
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
On Working and Faith
Dearest Daughters,
I love you three with the most unexplained love. I cannot describe it to you, but just as Mammie and Pop-pop told me when I was younger "you will understand one day when you have kids of your own." I'm writing this to you all tonight with a heavy heart. Soon I will be leaving for another town to start a new job. Daddy didn't get fired from his work - he was let go because someone at the place he loved to work at every day didn't do their own job with all of his heart and there wasn't enough money to pay daddy to do his job.
I hope that you all learn a lot from me. I hope that I can live as an example for you, just as Pop-pop has lived as an example for me. I hope that you learn love, kindness, patience, happiness, trust, independence, and that your tender hearts never harden in this old world in which we live. I also want you to learn that no matter what you do in life, do it the best you can.
If you do something in life and don't try hard, someone else will have to pay the consequences. It is not my choice that we are going to go through some tough times in the coming days. Please know that although I may not be there at night to tuck you in, I will be looking at your smiling faces in the pictures which I will have with me and I will still whisper "Good Night Sweet Princesses" as I kiss each of you before going to bed each night. I hope as you sleep, you can still feel daddy giving you a big hug.
I also want you to learn about Faith. Daddy has it. I have unshakable faith in God. Faith is something that you can't see, but you believe in it. For example, when you walk over the bridge at the park, you don't know that the bridge will hold you up. However, you walk over it anyway, believing that it is safe and will protect you from the water below. That, in a nutshell, is faith. Daddy had faith that God would provide a new job so that we can have clothes, food, and shelter. He provided two offers for me to choose from and in this tough tough economic time, it has been a true blessing. We are very very fortunate.
I just wanted you to know these things, my beautiful daughters. Whatever you do in life, do so with a happy heart to the best of your abilities, and have faith in God and yourself. The rest of life's problems just seem to work themselves out over the long run.
Daddy loves you babies. May you have the sweetest of dreams as you sleep.
I love you three with the most unexplained love. I cannot describe it to you, but just as Mammie and Pop-pop told me when I was younger "you will understand one day when you have kids of your own." I'm writing this to you all tonight with a heavy heart. Soon I will be leaving for another town to start a new job. Daddy didn't get fired from his work - he was let go because someone at the place he loved to work at every day didn't do their own job with all of his heart and there wasn't enough money to pay daddy to do his job.
I hope that you all learn a lot from me. I hope that I can live as an example for you, just as Pop-pop has lived as an example for me. I hope that you learn love, kindness, patience, happiness, trust, independence, and that your tender hearts never harden in this old world in which we live. I also want you to learn that no matter what you do in life, do it the best you can.
If you do something in life and don't try hard, someone else will have to pay the consequences. It is not my choice that we are going to go through some tough times in the coming days. Please know that although I may not be there at night to tuck you in, I will be looking at your smiling faces in the pictures which I will have with me and I will still whisper "Good Night Sweet Princesses" as I kiss each of you before going to bed each night. I hope as you sleep, you can still feel daddy giving you a big hug.
I also want you to learn about Faith. Daddy has it. I have unshakable faith in God. Faith is something that you can't see, but you believe in it. For example, when you walk over the bridge at the park, you don't know that the bridge will hold you up. However, you walk over it anyway, believing that it is safe and will protect you from the water below. That, in a nutshell, is faith. Daddy had faith that God would provide a new job so that we can have clothes, food, and shelter. He provided two offers for me to choose from and in this tough tough economic time, it has been a true blessing. We are very very fortunate.
I just wanted you to know these things, my beautiful daughters. Whatever you do in life, do so with a happy heart to the best of your abilities, and have faith in God and yourself. The rest of life's problems just seem to work themselves out over the long run.
Daddy loves you babies. May you have the sweetest of dreams as you sleep.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Midnight Giggles
It's 12:36am early on Wednesday morning.
The house is still and quiet except for the clicking of the keyboard as I program, the slight buzz of the ceiling fans, restful breathing of loved ones dreaming, and the hum of the sole compact fluorescent light bulb which illuminates the room in which I work.
Occasionally the ice in my drink shifts and clinks against the tumbler's wall almost as if cheering me on, saying "hang in there just another hour before you call it a night..." in its sleepy voice. My glass of Diet Dr. Pepper sweats onto my notepad which holds the shadows of my workday.
The screen is blurry - yet I forge ahead only to take a short break to write this humble blog post. I am thankful for everything in life which God allows me to experience for it is through experience that we knock another rough edge off of this human vessel in which we temporarily reside.
The dog moves in the light shadows beside me, hearing the unheard. She walks a few steps before stretching out on the floor facing the nursery where our youngest slumbers in fanny-raised comfort. I stop typing for a moment and strain to hear what momentarily peeked the interest of our beloved dog.
Softly at first she cries "Dahhhhhhhhhh" from the nursery. I pause and listen and there it is louder and a little quicker - "Daaaaaaaah Daaaaaaaah". My heart races to hear my baby call for me.
"Daaaaaaahhhhhhhhhwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaa" She sighs.
The light buzzes loudly and I blink a few times. It is not for her father that the young toddler cries. I realize that she she is calling for her best friend, Dora The Explorer. Deflated, I slump in my chair, defeated by a cartoon character in my daughter's eyes.
When we are down, if we are perceptive, God talks to us. I wait for a few seconds, listening for His words of wisdom faintly carried to my ears on angel's breath. It arrives through the laughter of my youngest child as she sleeps in her crib.
Nothing much in life's experience can top the midnight giggles of a sleeping baby.
I now have enough energy to make it another hour into the night, programming key stroke by key stroke.
Giggle on, baby princess. Daddy loves you.
The house is still and quiet except for the clicking of the keyboard as I program, the slight buzz of the ceiling fans, restful breathing of loved ones dreaming, and the hum of the sole compact fluorescent light bulb which illuminates the room in which I work.
Occasionally the ice in my drink shifts and clinks against the tumbler's wall almost as if cheering me on, saying "hang in there just another hour before you call it a night..." in its sleepy voice. My glass of Diet Dr. Pepper sweats onto my notepad which holds the shadows of my workday.
The screen is blurry - yet I forge ahead only to take a short break to write this humble blog post. I am thankful for everything in life which God allows me to experience for it is through experience that we knock another rough edge off of this human vessel in which we temporarily reside.
The dog moves in the light shadows beside me, hearing the unheard. She walks a few steps before stretching out on the floor facing the nursery where our youngest slumbers in fanny-raised comfort. I stop typing for a moment and strain to hear what momentarily peeked the interest of our beloved dog.
Softly at first she cries "Dahhhhhhhhhh" from the nursery. I pause and listen and there it is louder and a little quicker - "Daaaaaaaah Daaaaaaaah". My heart races to hear my baby call for me.
"Daaaaaaahhhhhhhhhwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaa" She sighs.
The light buzzes loudly and I blink a few times. It is not for her father that the young toddler cries. I realize that she she is calling for her best friend, Dora The Explorer. Deflated, I slump in my chair, defeated by a cartoon character in my daughter's eyes.
When we are down, if we are perceptive, God talks to us. I wait for a few seconds, listening for His words of wisdom faintly carried to my ears on angel's breath. It arrives through the laughter of my youngest child as she sleeps in her crib.
Nothing much in life's experience can top the midnight giggles of a sleeping baby.
I now have enough energy to make it another hour into the night, programming key stroke by key stroke.
Giggle on, baby princess. Daddy loves you.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Out Of My Shell
Last night I shaved my goatee off. I had worn this badge of hipness since the late 90s. My wife and kids have never seen me without either that or a full beard during the winter. I asked all of them if I should do it and everyone agreed that if they didn't like me sans facial hair, that I would grow it back and never do it again. Emma and Chloe really didn't know what "shaving it off" meant and Lydia was out out of the room turning circles and giggling to herself.
So I took out the dog clippers (yeah that's how I roll) and asked everyone if they were sure and then proceeded to give my face a good garage sale type cleaning. The looks on my daughters' faces was absolutely priceless. Half in amazement at what I was doing, and the other half in great curiosity at this funny looking creature emerging from behind the goatee.
"Daddy why you erasing your face?" Asked Chloe.
I just laughed and said "Daddy's just giving his face a hair cut."
That seemed to make it clear that I wasn't hurting myself and she climbed up on the garden tub next to the sink and just looked on in wonder. When I was through with the clippers she smiled at me in the mirror and said "you look funny." Emma agreed by shaking her head and giggling in her cute bubbly chuckle. Lydia was still spinning and babbling outside the door of the bathroom.
I lathered up and started shaving as the girls told me about their day. When I finished, Chloe touched my face and said "smooooooooooooooooooooooooooothe Dah Dah" and then jumped down and ran off.
We'll see if it stays off for good or comes back this Fall when the leaves begin to drop and this old Earth starts to hibernate for the winter.
So I took out the dog clippers (yeah that's how I roll) and asked everyone if they were sure and then proceeded to give my face a good garage sale type cleaning. The looks on my daughters' faces was absolutely priceless. Half in amazement at what I was doing, and the other half in great curiosity at this funny looking creature emerging from behind the goatee.
"Daddy why you erasing your face?" Asked Chloe.
I just laughed and said "Daddy's just giving his face a hair cut."
That seemed to make it clear that I wasn't hurting myself and she climbed up on the garden tub next to the sink and just looked on in wonder. When I was through with the clippers she smiled at me in the mirror and said "you look funny." Emma agreed by shaking her head and giggling in her cute bubbly chuckle. Lydia was still spinning and babbling outside the door of the bathroom.
I lathered up and started shaving as the girls told me about their day. When I finished, Chloe touched my face and said "smooooooooooooooooooooooooooothe Dah Dah" and then jumped down and ran off.
We'll see if it stays off for good or comes back this Fall when the leaves begin to drop and this old Earth starts to hibernate for the winter.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Star Wars - Episode 4
This morning Emma and I were exchanging typical father and daughter banter. There were lots of "you look pretty"'s and "you're a sweet girl"'s from my side of the conversation and a lot of precious "I know Daddy"'s from her side.
"Now remember you can't go crawling around in the gravel at school today." I said.
"I know Daddy." She replied. "But it's ok when we play Star Wars..."
"Well didn't mommy say for you to not play so rough since your killing your shoes about every 2 weeks it seems?" I asked.
"Yeah.... But remember Star Wars?" She asked.
"Yes I do - I saw it in the theater. " I said "However, what does Star Wars have to do with gravel on the playground at School?"
"Wellllllllllllllllll. You See. There was Julia and myself and we play Star Wars -" She said.
"Do you even know what Star Wars is?" I interrupted.
"Duh." she smiled. "It's a movie silly Daddy. Julia plays like she's Princess Leia and I'm a kitty cat and kitty cats crawl on the ground."
I stood there totally speechless as she pirouetted across the floor. Dance little girl. Dance!
"Now remember you can't go crawling around in the gravel at school today." I said.
"I know Daddy." She replied. "But it's ok when we play Star Wars..."
"Well didn't mommy say for you to not play so rough since your killing your shoes about every 2 weeks it seems?" I asked.
"Yeah.... But remember Star Wars?" She asked.
"Yes I do - I saw it in the theater. " I said "However, what does Star Wars have to do with gravel on the playground at School?"
"Wellllllllllllllllll. You See. There was Julia and myself and we play Star Wars -" She said.
"Do you even know what Star Wars is?" I interrupted.
"Duh." she smiled. "It's a movie silly Daddy. Julia plays like she's Princess Leia and I'm a kitty cat and kitty cats crawl on the ground."
I stood there totally speechless as she pirouetted across the floor. Dance little girl. Dance!
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Not Available In Stores
Tonight was taco night - complete with tater tots. For some reason that is a long-standing tradition in our family. I can't remember when it started, but if you cook tacos, there better be tater tots in the oven.
As I stood there browing the meat, the girls and their momma were talking about Mother's Day and what Mommy wanted for her special day.
Somehow the conversation swung in my direction.
"Daddy, what do you want for Mother's Day?" They asked.
"Well I guess just for you all to be on your best behavior all day long on that day!" I said with enthusiasm.
[[ crickets ]]
"Uh Daddy they don't have that in the store." Chloe said.
I have been pwned by a not yet four year old.
As I stood there browing the meat, the girls and their momma were talking about Mother's Day and what Mommy wanted for her special day.
Somehow the conversation swung in my direction.
"Daddy, what do you want for Mother's Day?" They asked.
"Well I guess just for you all to be on your best behavior all day long on that day!" I said with enthusiasm.
[[ crickets ]]
"Uh Daddy they don't have that in the store." Chloe said.
I have been pwned by a not yet four year old.
Rainy Sunday
Quiet.
Not for Long!
All women but one asleep.
Smallest one on her tummy -
chin resting on big Dora
doll, holding smaller Dora
doll, wearing Backpack on
her head - watching Dora on TV
twisting her single red pony tail.
Rainy Sundays are great for relaxing.
Daddy works on, watching the rain gather
in muddy puddles.
Not for Long!
All women but one asleep.
Smallest one on her tummy -
chin resting on big Dora
doll, holding smaller Dora
doll, wearing Backpack on
her head - watching Dora on TV
twisting her single red pony tail.
Rainy Sundays are great for relaxing.
Daddy works on, watching the rain gather
in muddy puddles.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Attitude
Attitude is your perception of the world around you or how others perceive that to be. You can realize that you have a bad attitude on your own or others can help you see that in a kind manner. Kids are impervious to the idea of how their attitude affects others around them. I'm not sure at what point in life "ME ME ME" turns to "YOU YOU YOU". Anyway, we are teaching our oldest how to determine if her attitude is well - less than desirable - and needs correcting. This morning she was pouting around the house. I just don't "do" pouting. I never have at least that I can remember. As a result, I don't like pouting people around me. So I told her to go to her room until she found her happy attitude. After about 10 minutes in her room of being quiet, I hear her yell from across the house:
"DADDY I FOUND IT!" She exclaimed.
"What's that?" I asked.
"MY ATTITUDE! CAN I COME OUT NOW?" she asked.
She came out as happy as a lark and we all went to the Easter egg hunt at "Sandybricks" park.
"DADDY I FOUND IT!" She exclaimed.
"What's that?" I asked.
"MY ATTITUDE! CAN I COME OUT NOW?" she asked.
She came out as happy as a lark and we all went to the Easter egg hunt at "Sandybricks" park.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Doo Doo Hat
"Honey will you change Lydia?" the Mrs. hollered from across the house.
"Sure babe." I replied
As any good father would do, I tried to entertain the baby while changing her. Being silly makes her lay still and just laugh while I can do what needs to be done.
I was getting her ready for the changing of the diaper and put her pants on my head.
"Look Lydia - Daddy has on a silly hat!" I said as she preciously giggled.
I took the wipes and a clean diaper out of the dresser and began the task nobody enjoys. That's when I noticed that she had a massive diaper blowout and really needed a good cleaning.
That's when I remembered I still had her pants on my head. It is also when I realized I was wearing a doo doo hat rather than a silly hat.
Any man can continue to change a diaper in such a situation.
A REAL man can blog about it while laughing hysterically. I shall now go take a shower.
"Sure babe." I replied
As any good father would do, I tried to entertain the baby while changing her. Being silly makes her lay still and just laugh while I can do what needs to be done.
I was getting her ready for the changing of the diaper and put her pants on my head.
"Look Lydia - Daddy has on a silly hat!" I said as she preciously giggled.
I took the wipes and a clean diaper out of the dresser and began the task nobody enjoys. That's when I noticed that she had a massive diaper blowout and really needed a good cleaning.
That's when I remembered I still had her pants on my head. It is also when I realized I was wearing a doo doo hat rather than a silly hat.
Any man can continue to change a diaper in such a situation.
A REAL man can blog about it while laughing hysterically. I shall now go take a shower.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
homonym
Hi everyone! It's been a while since I posted. I've been working like a mad man but I'm taking a much needed night off. In fact, I'll be in bed before 1130pm which is a rarity. The Mrs. and I are trying to shake off a cold, just in time for our little ones to catch it. At least we will be better so we can comfort our sweet girls. Needless to say, neither of us felt like cooking tonight. With the economy in a downward trend, we're really watching the money situation quite proactively; however, we still decided to just pack the entire crew up and head out to O'Charlies. We hadn't been there in months and we would love just to kick back and get waited on and relax with the kids. We were loading the kids into the van when little Chloe laughed and said "Daddy look at my cute little pursey" as she held up a pink and blue denim purse. That is one homonym I would really like to never hear again from any of my sweet little daughters.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
The Dash Between the Dates
I really have to get back into blogging about my wonderful family and the crazy life which I know. Projects at home, at the day job as well as independent projects keep me busy from day to day to day. Sometimes you feel like you're just living life rather than experiencing it. Don't get me wrong. I wouldn't change a thing at all in my life. I'm perfectly happy. Sometimes you just feel like you're the dash between two dates. The girls are growing so quickly, with the eldest starting kindergarten this year. I can't talk about it. "The kids really do grow up fast" so cherish each and every moment.
Last night we were picking up the house as we do every night after a daylong torrent of midget tornadoes which seem to use their little whirlwinds to toss anything and everything to the far corners of the house. I split the older two up to make the best use of the remaining hours in the day. Emma cleaned upstairs and Chloe cleaned downstairs and Lydia toddled around with a baby brush brushing her hair.
Chloe, now with her area clean, looked for her best friend - Baby Sarah (one of her many dolls). Baby Sarah had been cast under one of the tables in the den most likely during the mad rush to the dinner table.
"Daddy have you seen baby Sawah?" Asked Chloe.
"I think I saw her laying down under the table over there." I said with a quick point of the finger.
"NO DADAH - Baby Sawah with the chocolate hair." She replied.
Have I been too busy to notice that there is now a brown headed baby Sarah which my middle daughter so loves? I need to correct that by working smarter - not longer. I'm going to blog more as well.
I learn so much from my girls.
Last night we were picking up the house as we do every night after a daylong torrent of midget tornadoes which seem to use their little whirlwinds to toss anything and everything to the far corners of the house. I split the older two up to make the best use of the remaining hours in the day. Emma cleaned upstairs and Chloe cleaned downstairs and Lydia toddled around with a baby brush brushing her hair.
Chloe, now with her area clean, looked for her best friend - Baby Sarah (one of her many dolls). Baby Sarah had been cast under one of the tables in the den most likely during the mad rush to the dinner table.
"Daddy have you seen baby Sawah?" Asked Chloe.
"I think I saw her laying down under the table over there." I said with a quick point of the finger.
"NO DADAH - Baby Sawah with the chocolate hair." She replied.
Have I been too busy to notice that there is now a brown headed baby Sarah which my middle daughter so loves? I need to correct that by working smarter - not longer. I'm going to blog more as well.
I learn so much from my girls.
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