I miss you and love you more than I can express. The pain in my heart of being separated from you during this transition in our lives is quite heavy. It is lonely up here without you and I'm pretty much on the verge of tears during the hours in which I am awake. In my dreams I get to see you and hug you and tell you to your faces how much I cherish and love you. I am happy and content in my dreams.
When the alarm goes off in the morning, happiness is quickly replaced by anxiety and uncertainty and a sadness which cannot be described even though the laughter from my dreams still echos in my ears. My heart literally aches due to these circumstances. My faith in God, however, is unshakable even as the sun sets in this big and lonely city. I fully trust He is working for good in our lives even though I don't see His plan for our family.
I want you to have that same belief as well. Sweet daughters - always know that God does not want to hurt us. He is there to lift us up and to comfort us. He is my friend in this big town and He is great. He has provided me with a wonderful job so I can keep you clothed, fed, and sheltered. We are so very blessed even in this time of separation. Never forget that. There are others which are not as lucky as our family and we need to be compassionate to them and help them however we can. We have been given a wonderful gift in this economy and we need not forget it. Rather, we should figure out a way to help those less fortunate and thank God in any way we can by helping people out. I'm not sure how we can help them yet when our own finances are so tight. He will reveal how we can help on His time-line.
As I write this to you, I look out my office window through the tall buildings at the interstate heading South which leads me to you all. I can feel the rush of the tires as they curve through Cincinnatti and race through Lexington along beside the horses running in the white fenced fields. I feel the steepness of the mountains and the racing of my heart as I enter our little town. I drive home to you every night in my mind. I know each curve and each mile which leads me home. It would be so easy to just do that after work... and it would be the wrong thing to do.
We are blessed. Keep telling yourselves that and believe it with all of your heart. In time, God will reveal His wonderful plan for our family. On that point, I have the greatest of faith. Until He reveals His plan for our family, I count the days until I can hold you in my arms and hear your laughter and to just enjoy our precious time together. I would love to come home every weekend and would gladly make the drive. However, finances are uncertain so there will be times where I can't come home every weekend. It could be 2-3 weeks before I could come home. I do not know if we can afford my trips home as often as I would like to make them. And perhaps that alone is the heaviest weight on my heart.
I love you all. Girls, obey your mother - she has a LOT on her plate.
Your loving daddy and husband
