Well today came and went in the blink of an eye. A long day at work combined with Pre-Labor Day traffic meant little time for the family. I stopped by to pick up dinner at Sonic because the Mrs. wasn't feeling very well and it was too late for me to try and cook dinner. So we all gulped down our dinner and then visited for a little bit before bath time (followed immediately by bedtime).
"Daddy here's a hair clip for you!" Emma said proudly. "It has a monkeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey on it."
"Oh thank you Emma." I replied "How does a monkey go?"
"Ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo" she said hopping about like a monkey.
I put the hair clip in my ever thinning hair and acted like I didn't know where it was. The girls had a ball pointing to exactly where it was but I pretended that I couldn't find it. Now at this point, Emma new I was playing, but Chloe grew more and more concerned that I couldn't find it. After a while of doing this she smiled and realized I was just playing.
"Chloe do you want me to put this hair clip in your hair?" I asked her
"uh huh - ehr cip" she said (which I think means "yeah give me the hair clip daddy").
I gently put it into her hair.
"Oh Chloe you have a hair clip in your hair now!" I exclaimed.
She pretended not to know where it was and rubbed around on the top of her head and said "Ehr Cip, Daddy?"
It is so funny to see your children play pretend and joke around even with something as silly as a hair clip.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
IHOP Octopi
Once a week (pretty much anyway), the Mrs. and I like to torment ourselves by taking our two precious children out to IHOP for a very unhealthy meal of saturated fats and high carbohydrate menu items. There is something about IHOP that transforms our beautiful little children into hyperactive octopi. I think that IHOP employees make a point to put the syrups and other goodies right out there so kids will get into them. When the temptation becomes too much, our children transform instantly into nothing but these midget sized tornadoes of sticky fingers, sucking up all condiments within their grasp. As they blow by, if you listen closely you can hear the winds howl
"Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaadddddddddddddyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy here are 437 Splenda packets for your tea...."
Last night was no exception. As Emma danced in her seat to "Dancing Queen", her little left hand just decided to do what it wanted. The Mrs. had to eat with Emma's left hand up in her face for most of the meal. Emma didn't even know she was doing it. Perhaps she was trying to keep her balance on the seat or perhaps she was trying to steal mommy's bacon right out of her mouth.
Chloe on the other hand decided it would be really fun to smear her strawberry pancakes all over her face and then play "bury the cutie pie" where she proceeded to clean her face on my shirt. When that didn't satisfy her appetite for entertainment, she quickly back slid out of her booster seat and played a lightning round of "lick the gum on the bottom side of the table".
I'm not sure if she did that last part or not but as her head was kind of stuck between the table and the booster seat for a moment before I got her out, she was muttering "Yucky Yucky" under her breath.
"Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaadddddddddddddyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy here are 437 Splenda packets for your tea...."
Last night was no exception. As Emma danced in her seat to "Dancing Queen", her little left hand just decided to do what it wanted. The Mrs. had to eat with Emma's left hand up in her face for most of the meal. Emma didn't even know she was doing it. Perhaps she was trying to keep her balance on the seat or perhaps she was trying to steal mommy's bacon right out of her mouth.
Chloe on the other hand decided it would be really fun to smear her strawberry pancakes all over her face and then play "bury the cutie pie" where she proceeded to clean her face on my shirt. When that didn't satisfy her appetite for entertainment, she quickly back slid out of her booster seat and played a lightning round of "lick the gum on the bottom side of the table".
I'm not sure if she did that last part or not but as her head was kind of stuck between the table and the booster seat for a moment before I got her out, she was muttering "Yucky Yucky" under her breath.
Monday, August 27, 2007
Eye Bandaids
Just a quick story for this evening's post from TDR. Emma was "picking up" her toys before bath time. This consists of three main steps:
a. rare back and toss said toy as high up the stairs as possible, aiming for the playroom doorway at the top of the stairs.
b. catch any toys that tumble back down the stairs and throw harder.
c. step over toys that remain on the stairs while dragging heavier things like baby strollers and such up the stairs.
I was getting a bath ready for the girls when I thought I heard thunder. A movement caught my eye and I looked out to see Emma doing cartwheels down the stairs. I dropped what I was doing and ran over, my heart racing at 190 beats per minute. She sat up and somehow jumped into my arms. I held her still and we worked over every part of her to make sure it wasn't broken or bleeding. Thank God everything is in working order and she doesn't even have a bruise. She had taken a tumble from the 3rd stair from the top to about half way down the stairs before she stopped. It could have been much worse. I explained to her why she tripped and that she now needs to do what Daddy always says which is "don't leave toys on the stairs". I think we now have that issue whipped.
Now getting my girls to take a bath is not very difficult. If I say "bubbles" in a moderate volume, they are naked and running toward the bathtub. NOTE TO SELF: be very careful when asking the girls if they would like to go blow bubbles when over at someone's house.
I finished up their washing before letting them play. As I was rinsing Emma's hair some of the bubbles got in her eye and she began to half cry/whine. I was trying not to laugh because I could tell she was faking.
She put her hands over her eyes and pretended to cry "Mommyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy - my eyes hurt - put bandaids on them"
I don't understand how some fathers don't take an active role in bathtime. It is so funny to see your kids making themselves into unicorns with their wet hair, or pretending like they are cooking or making fart noises in the water with their squirt toys.
The laughter still echoes throughout the house even though they are fast asleep. I love my children dearly.
a. rare back and toss said toy as high up the stairs as possible, aiming for the playroom doorway at the top of the stairs.
b. catch any toys that tumble back down the stairs and throw harder.
c. step over toys that remain on the stairs while dragging heavier things like baby strollers and such up the stairs.
I was getting a bath ready for the girls when I thought I heard thunder. A movement caught my eye and I looked out to see Emma doing cartwheels down the stairs. I dropped what I was doing and ran over, my heart racing at 190 beats per minute. She sat up and somehow jumped into my arms. I held her still and we worked over every part of her to make sure it wasn't broken or bleeding. Thank God everything is in working order and she doesn't even have a bruise. She had taken a tumble from the 3rd stair from the top to about half way down the stairs before she stopped. It could have been much worse. I explained to her why she tripped and that she now needs to do what Daddy always says which is "don't leave toys on the stairs". I think we now have that issue whipped.
Now getting my girls to take a bath is not very difficult. If I say "bubbles" in a moderate volume, they are naked and running toward the bathtub. NOTE TO SELF: be very careful when asking the girls if they would like to go blow bubbles when over at someone's house.
I finished up their washing before letting them play. As I was rinsing Emma's hair some of the bubbles got in her eye and she began to half cry/whine. I was trying not to laugh because I could tell she was faking.
She put her hands over her eyes and pretended to cry "Mommyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy - my eyes hurt - put bandaids on them"
I don't understand how some fathers don't take an active role in bathtime. It is so funny to see your kids making themselves into unicorns with their wet hair, or pretending like they are cooking or making fart noises in the water with their squirt toys.
The laughter still echoes throughout the house even though they are fast asleep. I love my children dearly.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Dude Boobs
Tonight we were finishing up a great dinner when just as I imagined, all of the women in the house finally united as one against the King of the castle. I was blindsided by this one and I didn't stand a chance. As previously posted, it has been very hot as of late. Even inside... it's cool but not really as cool as we'd like it. I think there is an unspoken pact not to drop the AC any lower than it already is positioned on the thermostat. Anyway I copied a move I have seen women do before. It's a quick maneuver to tuck the shirt up under their boobs when going braless (not out in public of course). I guess it helps relieve boob sweat during the really hot months.
So anyway I had just tucked my shirt under my AA's (haha) when Chloe pointed to me and said
"BOOBIES!"
Emma immediately followed with "Does daddy wear a bra?"
The Mrs. of course was beside herself in laughter.
Dinner was great.
So anyway I had just tucked my shirt under my AA's (haha) when Chloe pointed to me and said
"BOOBIES!"
Emma immediately followed with "Does daddy wear a bra?"
The Mrs. of course was beside herself in laughter.
Dinner was great.
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Doopy Doo & Stuck Fingers
Last night the girls got to stay with Mammy and Pop-Pop. It was a spontaneous thing and we weren't quite sure how they would do since they have gotten pretty used to sharing a room. Needless to say, Mammy and Pop-Pop called us around 930 this morning and said "I think the girls are ready to come home!"
We made some coffee and went to get the girls. After visiting with them for a bit, we piled back into the van and headed out. By then it was approaching their lunch time so we decided we'd go by Mcdonalds. Unfortunately the kids both fell asleep about a mile down the road. I drove very slowly and we took the long way back into town and over to get something to eat and take home.
On the way home, we hear Emma (who has recently graduated to the very back seat of the van to make room for Lydia), and she starts to cry.
"What's wrong baby?" I asked.
"MY FINGERS ARE STUCK!" she hollers from the back.
"Where are they stuck sweety?" I questioned.
"I DON'T KNOW DADDY!" she exclaims.
"Uh - Ok." I said quite dumbfounded. "Can you show me your fingers?" I asked.
She raises here little hands over the middle seat.
"Great! Can you move them?" I asked.
"No Daddy." she said sadly.
The best I can figure, her fingers aren't actually stuck in anything.... her right hand fell asleep from the way she was propping her head up in the car and she couldn't yet move her fingers. Poor girl. After explaining what happened she was ok and back to her happy self.
We go down this road that has a short but steep drop off. If you go over it too slow, you never feel it. If you go over too fast, you catch some serious air like Bo and Luke Duke. If you go over it at approximately 34 mph, it's fast enough to make your stomach drop without the tires coming off the ground.
As Emma sees this part of the road coming toward her she shrills with excitement "THE DOOPY DOO DADDY!!!"
She giggled the rest of the way home.
We made some coffee and went to get the girls. After visiting with them for a bit, we piled back into the van and headed out. By then it was approaching their lunch time so we decided we'd go by Mcdonalds. Unfortunately the kids both fell asleep about a mile down the road. I drove very slowly and we took the long way back into town and over to get something to eat and take home.
On the way home, we hear Emma (who has recently graduated to the very back seat of the van to make room for Lydia), and she starts to cry.
"What's wrong baby?" I asked.
"MY FINGERS ARE STUCK!" she hollers from the back.
"Where are they stuck sweety?" I questioned.
"I DON'T KNOW DADDY!" she exclaims.
"Uh - Ok." I said quite dumbfounded. "Can you show me your fingers?" I asked.
She raises here little hands over the middle seat.
"Great! Can you move them?" I asked.
"No Daddy." she said sadly.
The best I can figure, her fingers aren't actually stuck in anything.... her right hand fell asleep from the way she was propping her head up in the car and she couldn't yet move her fingers. Poor girl. After explaining what happened she was ok and back to her happy self.
We go down this road that has a short but steep drop off. If you go over it too slow, you never feel it. If you go over too fast, you catch some serious air like Bo and Luke Duke. If you go over it at approximately 34 mph, it's fast enough to make your stomach drop without the tires coming off the ground.
As Emma sees this part of the road coming toward her she shrills with excitement "THE DOOPY DOO DADDY!!!"
She giggled the rest of the way home.
Friday, August 24, 2007
Rustle Rustle
So i'm lucky enough to have an employer at my day job that allows me to telecommute every now and then. It saves on gas, they get at least 90 minutes more of production from me (i trade driving time for work time). They know that I am working because they can see the results via regular updates. This luxury allows me to see into the lives of my children during the day time. My wife is a very strong woman to put up with what she does during the day.
The weather as of late, has been pretty brutal. High humidity and 97+ temperatures for 25 straight days. We are set to break the record of consecutive days over 90 degrees which was set at 30 days back in 1993. It looks like we will get about 34 days before a cool front is expected to sweep in. Dry heat is a misnomer.
So with it being as hot as it has been for the past few weeks, the women in this house walk around with their hair up off their necks to help them stay cool. Ceiling fans whir at high speed and there is plenty of juice and milk to keep people hydrated.
Until daddy works from home. Daddy is not privy to the Daytime Rule Set (DRS) so things tend to get mucked up because Daddy simply doesn't know that "Mommy lets us..." or "Mommy does it this way" etc...
The kids go to bed for their naps fully clothed sans shoes. Emma wanted Yellow Blanky so I gave it to her and she snuggled up with it and drifted off to sleep. After a good nap she came back into the den. I am working in my Dude chair on my laptop. I glance over to her and she looks like a drowned rat. Her hair is all nappy from sweat and her cheeks are flushed. She must have gotten too hot sleeping with Yellow Blanky.
"I'm hot" she says quietly as to not wake her mother napping on the couch.
"I'm sorry baby. Hold your hair up so the ceiling fan can blow on your neck and help cool you off." I replied.
She says "okay" and proceeds to move behind my chair and peek around at me making funny faces. I laugh at her and then delv back into my work.
Clickity Clickity Clickty goes the keyboard. Over the clicking of the keys I hear a soft sound from behind me. It's regular in rythm. It's not a sound that our insane Cocker would make. It's not scratching or rolling. I know no one is playing with the toy basket. No one is scooting a chair across the floor.
There it is again....
Rustle Rustle
Rustle Rustle
Rustle Rustle
Rustle Rustle...
The weather as of late, has been pretty brutal. High humidity and 97+ temperatures for 25 straight days. We are set to break the record of consecutive days over 90 degrees which was set at 30 days back in 1993. It looks like we will get about 34 days before a cool front is expected to sweep in. Dry heat is a misnomer.
So with it being as hot as it has been for the past few weeks, the women in this house walk around with their hair up off their necks to help them stay cool. Ceiling fans whir at high speed and there is plenty of juice and milk to keep people hydrated.
Until daddy works from home. Daddy is not privy to the Daytime Rule Set (DRS) so things tend to get mucked up because Daddy simply doesn't know that "Mommy lets us..." or "Mommy does it this way" etc...
The kids go to bed for their naps fully clothed sans shoes. Emma wanted Yellow Blanky so I gave it to her and she snuggled up with it and drifted off to sleep. After a good nap she came back into the den. I am working in my Dude chair on my laptop. I glance over to her and she looks like a drowned rat. Her hair is all nappy from sweat and her cheeks are flushed. She must have gotten too hot sleeping with Yellow Blanky.
"I'm hot" she says quietly as to not wake her mother napping on the couch.
"I'm sorry baby. Hold your hair up so the ceiling fan can blow on your neck and help cool you off." I replied.
She says "okay" and proceeds to move behind my chair and peek around at me making funny faces. I laugh at her and then delv back into my work.
Clickity Clickity Clickty goes the keyboard. Over the clicking of the keys I hear a soft sound from behind me. It's regular in rythm. It's not a sound that our insane Cocker would make. It's not scratching or rolling. I know no one is playing with the toy basket. No one is scooting a chair across the floor.
There it is again....
Rustle Rustle
Rustle Rustle
Rustle Rustle
Rustle Rustle...
I could probably keep perfect time to this sound. My curiosity overtakes me and I put down the laptop and stand up to see what is behind me.
And there it is.... my eldest beautiful daughter lying on the floor spread eagle on her back. It's obvious what she's doing and I start to laugh. I still have to ask her just to hear it outloud.
"Emma what are you doing sweety?" I question.
The most angelic smile accompanies her response of "It's hot Daddy so I'm making snow angels."
Rustle Rustle
Rustle Rustle
Rustle Rustle
Rustle Rustle...
Yonry, Ishway & Foway
Chloe is really starting to talk about everything. Recently she has learned three new words which are Yonry, Ishway and Foway. Here's what they mean.
When Chloe either finds dirty clothes laying on the floor or wants to change into a new outfit (as she wants to do no less than 10 times per day), she must take the dirty clothes to the Yonry herself.
When Chloe has something interesting to show you, she motions for you to follow her as she says Ishway. Parental Note: It is not a very good sign when Ishway is preceded immediately by "uh oh", "uh oh daaaadeeeee", or "mommy".
When Chloe has something to throw away such as a piece of paper, some unknown sticky edible substance, or even one of her dirty diapers, she must go to the garbage can and throw it away herself. As she runs to the garbage can she repeats Foway quietly to herself.
That is all for now. She is kissing my big toe for some reason and I must go tickle her.
When Chloe either finds dirty clothes laying on the floor or wants to change into a new outfit (as she wants to do no less than 10 times per day), she must take the dirty clothes to the Yonry herself.
When Chloe has something interesting to show you, she motions for you to follow her as she says Ishway. Parental Note: It is not a very good sign when Ishway is preceded immediately by "uh oh", "uh oh daaaadeeeee", or "mommy".
When Chloe has something to throw away such as a piece of paper, some unknown sticky edible substance, or even one of her dirty diapers, she must go to the garbage can and throw it away herself. As she runs to the garbage can she repeats Foway quietly to herself.
That is all for now. She is kissing my big toe for some reason and I must go tickle her.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
The Big Bad Pig
Tonight we were tucking the girls into bed. I knelt proudly on the floor next to Emma and softly talked to her as Momma was tending to Chloe on the other side of the room. She smiled up at me and in her sweet little voice told me how hard she played on the "big kid" playground at school, and that she colored a rainbow for me during color time. This is the best part of the day for me. It's not that i'm getting to put the kids to bed to have some peace and quiet. I love them all the time. However, when they are sleepy-eyed and silly, and feel safe and loved, and know they have my full attention - well that is just heaven from a father's perspective.
"Emma, will you tell me a bed-time story?" I quietly asked.
"Sure Daddy!" she replied with excitement.
There was a pause here and I think she sensed I was really going to listen to her. She had this look on her face which was a mix of excitement and sheer terror - almost as if she was thinking in her little mind "Oh boy I better make this good for Daddy!"
Now somewhere along the line in her thought process, I think she got a little ahead of herself. I can't remember it word-for-word because I was laughing so much. However, her bed-time story for me went something like this....
"Once upon a time there were three
little bears and they lived in this big house.
And there was a little girl but not a big girl, Daddy.
And her name was Rapunzel. And the Big Bad Pig
knocked in the door and gobbled them all up like this
WAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHH!"
She was tickling me and just giggling. I've been laughing about the Big Bad Pig all night.
"Emma, will you tell me a bed-time story?" I quietly asked.
"Sure Daddy!" she replied with excitement.
There was a pause here and I think she sensed I was really going to listen to her. She had this look on her face which was a mix of excitement and sheer terror - almost as if she was thinking in her little mind "Oh boy I better make this good for Daddy!"
Now somewhere along the line in her thought process, I think she got a little ahead of herself. I can't remember it word-for-word because I was laughing so much. However, her bed-time story for me went something like this....
"Once upon a time there were three
little bears and they lived in this big house.
And there was a little girl but not a big girl, Daddy.
And her name was Rapunzel. And the Big Bad Pig
knocked in the door and gobbled them all up like this
WAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHH!"
She was tickling me and just giggling. I've been laughing about the Big Bad Pig all night.
The Light Pole
The other day I was taking Emma and Chloe to their preschool. Chloe is the younger of the two and is just now really starting to talk. She's inquisitive about EVERYTHING. We were stopped at a stoplight and she asked "Daddy uh da hang?" which is her way of saying "Daddy - what's that thing?" I glanced over to where she was pointing (which was a standard galvanized steel light pole) and I said "Baby that's a light pole."
"Otay" she replied as she went on her way of singing Deep and Wide as loudly as possible.
Now not to be out done, Emma, aka 'Little Miss Oneup', shouted over her happily singing little sister - "DADDY THERE'S A DARK POLE" as she pointed to a brown wooden telephone pole.
Needless to say it is a good thing that we were stopped or I might have driven off the road.
"Otay" she replied as she went on her way of singing Deep and Wide as loudly as possible.
Now not to be out done, Emma, aka 'Little Miss Oneup', shouted over her happily singing little sister - "DADDY THERE'S A DARK POLE" as she pointed to a brown wooden telephone pole.
Needless to say it is a good thing that we were stopped or I might have driven off the road.
The Kingdom of Dude
Hi! My name is Joe Shmo. I'm an average guy. I have a beautiful wife and soon to be three beautiful little girls. They are awesome and make the 60 hour work weeks worth it. All of the women in this family are red headed. It is not a cliche when I say that "redheads have a temper like a chipotle pepper." That is a simile - But it is true. The temper starts out kind of sultry and exotic and then quickly will burn your ass if you get too much of it. I'm very lucky to be a Cajun so I can take a good bit of spice. All kidding aside, my family is the reason I am who I am and I do what I do. I wouldn't have it any other way. However, I feel that with them being all redheaded and all of the female gender, I will be out-voted pretty much on everything for the rest of my life.
Most guys in my situation have the garage or out-building where they can go for their solace and "me time". I have no out-building and the garage is filled with containers of "women things" which my daughters and wife either currently use or will use in the near future. As a man, I need tools to do "man stuff" around the Kingdom to keep it operational and in proper working order. I have been quartered to a simple 4 shelf organizer for all of my manly tool items and such in the garage.
The only "Dude Room" I have is the toilet room inside the master bath of our house. It is cramped, noisy, and hot - but it is mine and I cherish it. This 4.5' x 2.5' room feels like a vast expanse to me sometimes and even though my legs are now numb because I can't stretch out - I am happy because I know that I have claimed this part of the Kingdom for myself. Welcome to the glimpse into my life as Joe Shmo. I'm just an average guy who absolutely adores his family and wants to share some of the funny reflections in the day of living with my girls. I will try to make nightly posts on a regular basis from The Dude Room.
Most guys in my situation have the garage or out-building where they can go for their solace and "me time". I have no out-building and the garage is filled with containers of "women things" which my daughters and wife either currently use or will use in the near future. As a man, I need tools to do "man stuff" around the Kingdom to keep it operational and in proper working order. I have been quartered to a simple 4 shelf organizer for all of my manly tool items and such in the garage.
The only "Dude Room" I have is the toilet room inside the master bath of our house. It is cramped, noisy, and hot - but it is mine and I cherish it. This 4.5' x 2.5' room feels like a vast expanse to me sometimes and even though my legs are now numb because I can't stretch out - I am happy because I know that I have claimed this part of the Kingdom for myself. Welcome to the glimpse into my life as Joe Shmo. I'm just an average guy who absolutely adores his family and wants to share some of the funny reflections in the day of living with my girls. I will try to make nightly posts on a regular basis from The Dude Room.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)